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Somebody Put Something in My Drink

There I was. Standing at the crossroads of what I used to know, what I know now, and where I wanted to go. Boost is a beautiful thing. As is the sound of that high revving little 4-cylinder engine, ready to take on the V-8 engines of the world. Always willing to disassociate myself from those I deem unworthy, or people i just plain don’t like I had a big choice to make. What a choice it was.

DF Goblin getting ready to leave the shop

Down one path, the one I’d been travelling for years now, were giant turbos, import cars, and scumbag youths with no direction in life except towards the grave. Doing burnouts, ricing out Civics, hob cobbling junkyard crap together with ratchet straps and vape juice. The other path led towards more assholes. Full of gobs of NA horsepower, tribal tattoos, and MMA loving telephone tough guys. More burnouts, penis contests, mullets or shaved heads, and enough middle aged testosterone to fill an 8 oz. sandwich bag.

Thankfully I chose a different path all together. Being that I hate pretty much every car “enthusiast” in the universe, I split the difference . While I’ll never be able to avoid vape craving dick lovers in import cars or butt pumping macho shit stains in Mustangs, Camaros, and Corvettes I can gladly distance myself from both.

I’m keeping the import body, adding a little bit of modern Ford power, and if you’ve been following along (probably not) the chassis and suspension is all me.

Chassis squared on the jig

And if you have been reading along you’re probably waiting for suspension tech part 2 or a follow up to how the youth of America are all shit pile suck jobs. Well, as for that I’m sure it will all be coming. Just not right now. Other then a few lengthy CAD and suspension analyzer sessions I really haven’t got much done on the chassis or the car at all. By the end of the month (April 2020) the last paying job is out of the shop and it will be nothing but hardcore 240sx tube chassis action. I’ll be keeping you on the take at least once a month on where I’m at, where I’m going, and the big reveal about the car that everyone is dying for. (No one really is)

Gen 3 Coyote Block with crank

As for now I’ll let you know my mill of choice is a Gen III Ford Coyote 5.0. Yes, to all my crybaby ricer millennial assholes and gen “Y” losers stuck in 1999, I have ditched the Nissan SR20VET in favor of something a little more power and endurance friendly. And to all the Mustang dildo riders, I still don’t and never will like Ford Mustangs. I will never get a tribal tattoo, or any tattoo for that matter. Nothing screams I want to look like a bad-ass who shoves entire raw potatoes up his asshole like a full sleeve tattoo. Come on. I heard someone say that their tattoo was an expression of who they are. Personally no one fucking cares. I’d rather spend my bread on tools and equipment then on skin wallpaper. Anyway….

I narrowed my engine choices down to 4, plus my SR20 and did a complete build sheet on each. Using the same vendors and the same brands for every part I could, I spec’d out each heart on paper just to see what the bottom line would be. My basic requirements were a forged bottom end with high power capabilities and reliability. Power adders were not included in my spec sheets as I felt they were all deal breakers. As it reads out each build sheet consisted of a new OEM block, forged crank, H-beam rods, forged pistons, and race cams. All brands that could be shared were shared right down to gaskets and hardware. All valvetrain components that could be sourced from the same company were. Each build was setup with a dry sump system of my own design and given a standard price based on identical components.

Wire frame screenshot of new upright assembly

My choices were LS 6.0, 6.2 Hemi, 5.0 Coyote, F22C1 Honda, and my current SR20 mill. I almost immediately came to my senses and threw away the sheet for the F22C1. Surprisingly all of the final 4 engines can be built in similar fashion with a +/- of around $1500.

I’ve been pretty sour on the import scene as of late. Maybe it’s where I’m located in the world. It seems like I’m inundated with drifter scum, Joe Dirts, general fucking idiots, and burnouts. My racer friends are a different story. Drifters, don’t read “race friends” and think that includes you. Drifting is nothing more than two guys holding hands while interpretive dance ice skating on a lake that’s hopefully getting ready to thaw and suck your pathetic ass below and drown you before you freeze. There is one guy on the local car scene that I will ever respect. If he ever reads this he might know who he is. Tyler, it’s not you. Get that idea out of your fucking head.

Off on a tangent again.

The whole point of that, was on not choosing the SR20. But honestly, with the cars I’ll be running this chassis against all in the V8 swapped party, there’s no point in running a 4 banger. Turbo’d to the max and stretched to its power limit in a long and drawn out road race does not sit well with me. I want to be competitive on the track, not in the pits. The SR was out solely based on reliability.

On a side note, the VE parts were some of the easiest transactions I’ve ever done in the Nissan world. I attribute that solely to dealing with Australians and Europeans. Shame on you Nissan driving American scumbags. “$1000 plus shipping” means $1000 plus shipping. No fucking discounts because you want to drive to pick it up. Fucking losers. Go slap your balls off your mechanical radiator fans with the engine running.

Back to the engines. The Hemi and LS engine lost out as well due to their OHV nature. Overhead valve, seriously GM and Mopar it’s not the mid 1960s anymore. Live in the now. This technology has been outdated longer than I’ve been alive.

Drafting a new part

So Ford it is. Enjoy the pics, crank up the Ramones, and see you again in a month or less.


theDoc View All

Chassis builder, engine builder, cynic

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